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Common mistakes still dog many a divorce pt. I

Conventional wisdom, clichés, and wide-reaching platitudes can sometimes seem to inundate a married couple's life. From quips like "never go to bed angry," to ideas of a "seven year itch," it can be hard to escape these predictable little ideas that are often problematic in real life.

However, it's not unheard of, or even uncommon, for many a predictable and surprisingly common mistake to be made in times of separation, when it has become clear that remaining married is neither possible nor healthy. Couples at all stages of the divorce process and in all parts of the country, Colorado included, can make the mistake of acting out in pain, anger, or a craving for revenge against their former spouse and the events that have brought them to court.

A few mistakes frequently made during a divorce can be directly pointed to. When one or more of these blunders are committed as a couple splits, even the best of intentions can be undone:

• Refusing to throw in the towel: While many will do all they can to save their marriage, couples should be honest with each other and themselves about when a relationship has been damaged beyond repair. In many cases, both must learn to let go and move on.

• Feeding the habit: Having a partner to be with day after day can often create a sort of addition to support. As a result, some husbands and wives who are in the midst of a divorce will send their ex constant emails, text messages, or even persistent phone calls. Not only can this mistake make the separation process more difficult, but could qualify as harassment in divorce court.

•Dating too soon: Dating too quickly after a divorce can upset an ex-spouse who may then decide to fight more viciously for assets, property, and even custody rights. Doing so, however, can lead to added emotional distress and even potential questions of infidelity during legal mediations.

Any of these mistakes can make what may have been a smooth and relatively quick divorce settlement become a drawn-out and fierce fight. Even if a couple does everything right and acts both responsibly and amicably through a divorce, the help of a family law attorney is essential for securing a proper and just settlement.

Source: The Huffington Post, "The 5 Worst Mistakes We Make During a Divorce," Jeff Gardere, Feb. 18, 2013

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