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Is staying together for the kids actually good advice?

On Behalf of | May 13, 2016 | Divorce

You’ve probably read it, heard people say it, or seen references to it in popular songs: You should stay together for your children. If you and your spouse are unhappy, but you have kids, you should just tough it out. Is this actually good advice?

On one hand, divorce can be very tough on kids. They can be stressed out, they may not understand why it’s happening, and they may not want you to split up. They liked the family unit the way that it was, and they want it to stay together.

However, you have to consider what sort of family life you’re giving them. If you and your spouse fight all of the time, if there is a lot of anger and stress in your lives, is that really a good place for kids to live? You may be better off to split up; many parents find out they actually get along better after a divorce because they don’t grate on each other all of the time, so they can reduce conflict and focus on the kids.

The trick is to approach the divorce with the kids’ happiness as your main goal. Think about them when dividing property, agreeing to a custody arrangement, and working out a plan for child support. Always put their needs first. Use the divorce as a tool to give them the happy, safe life that they deserve—even if you and your spouse know you can’t do that by staying together.

As you head toward the divorce, it is wise to look into all of the legal steps that must be taken in Colorado to make it go smoothly.

Source: Parents, “Should I stay in my marriage for the kids?,” Jeff Palitz, accessed May 13, 2016